31 January 18, 03:19
Very Touchy story:
"Husband forgot to wish her on his Wife's birthday.
He came home late at night from the office .....
His wife shouted: How would u feel if u dont see me for next few days?
He couldnt believe his luck. He replied at once.'' Wowww.....That would be great..!''
Monday passed & he didn't see her.
Tuesday he didnt see her
.
& wednesday passed too :o
On Thursday the swelling was better & then he could see her from the corner of his left eye...
-------------------------------------
A woman goes to a priest with a problem.
"Father," she told him. "I have rescued 2 female parrots from a house of ill-repute. But the only thing they say is: "wanna have some fun?" "
"THATS TERRIBLE!" exclaims the priest. "But i think i can help. Bring your parrots over at my house. I have 2 male parrots who I have taught them to pray every day. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying the terrible phrase."
The next day the woman brought her parrots to the priests house. His two parrots were holding beads and praying quietly in their cage.
The two female parrots were put in the cage with them. The females immediately began their routine. "Hi, wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked at the other one and said: "Put those beads away, our prayer has been answered!"
--------------------------------------------
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking tea when
he hears a knock at the door.
When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a
clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man
starts to yell louder. "You Sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him, "Look, you´ve obviously got the wrong man", and
shuts the door.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the
little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts
his clipboard under Nelson´s nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr. Mandela smiles and says "look young man...you've got the wrong man"
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he
hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson
Mandela yells at him, "Look, I don´t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and
says, "Aren't you Nissan Main Dealer?"
=========================
![[Image: do_you_smoke_jokes.jpg]](http://smilepls.com/pictures/files/2012/12/do_you_smoke_jokes.jpg)
====================
Boy to doctor: my gf is pregnant but I used precaution.
Doctor: let me tell you a story.
One day a hunter went to hunt a Lion. When the lion was in front of him, he suddenly realised that he had forget to bring the gun. Then the hunter pointed his fingers towards the lion as if he is firing shot on the lion and said, 'boom'. The lion was dead.
Boy: bullsh!t. Someone else must have fired the shot!
Doctor: EXACTLY!
=================================
"Husband forgot to wish her on his Wife's birthday.
He came home late at night from the office .....
His wife shouted: How would u feel if u dont see me for next few days?
He couldnt believe his luck. He replied at once.'' Wowww.....That would be great..!''
Monday passed & he didn't see her.
Tuesday he didnt see her
.
& wednesday passed too :o
On Thursday the swelling was better & then he could see her from the corner of his left eye...
-------------------------------------
A woman goes to a priest with a problem.
"Father," she told him. "I have rescued 2 female parrots from a house of ill-repute. But the only thing they say is: "wanna have some fun?" "
"THATS TERRIBLE!" exclaims the priest. "But i think i can help. Bring your parrots over at my house. I have 2 male parrots who I have taught them to pray every day. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying the terrible phrase."
The next day the woman brought her parrots to the priests house. His two parrots were holding beads and praying quietly in their cage.
The two female parrots were put in the cage with them. The females immediately began their routine. "Hi, wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked at the other one and said: "Put those beads away, our prayer has been answered!"
--------------------------------------------
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking tea when
he hears a knock at the door.
When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a
clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man
starts to yell louder. "You Sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him, "Look, you´ve obviously got the wrong man", and
shuts the door.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the
little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts
his clipboard under Nelson´s nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr. Mandela smiles and says "look young man...you've got the wrong man"
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he
hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson
Mandela yells at him, "Look, I don´t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and
says, "Aren't you Nissan Main Dealer?"
=========================
====================
Boy to doctor: my gf is pregnant but I used precaution.
Doctor: let me tell you a story.
One day a hunter went to hunt a Lion. When the lion was in front of him, he suddenly realised that he had forget to bring the gun. Then the hunter pointed his fingers towards the lion as if he is firing shot on the lion and said, 'boom'. The lion was dead.
Boy: bullsh!t. Someone else must have fired the shot!
Doctor: EXACTLY!
=================================
![[-]](https://www.geeks.fyi/images/collapse.png)
