Light humour

[Dino101]

God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’

Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’

Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.

Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don't have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package

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Funniest Letter Ever:

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his
mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this
was a good time to tell his mother what he
wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at
home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he
deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his
behavior over the last year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how
you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you
deserve a bike for your birthday.
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room
and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
*******
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I
would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not
been a very good boy this year, So he tore up
the letter and started over.

Letter 2
*******
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good
boy this year and I would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he
tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
*******
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would
really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God
either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
*******
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am
very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike
for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was
not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was
very upset. He went downstairs and told his
mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's
mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby
looked very sad. ''Just be home in time for
dinner'', Bobby's mother told him. Bobby walked
down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the
altar. He looked around to see if anyone was
there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue
of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his
shirt and ran out of the church, down the street,
into the house, and up to his room. He shut the
door to his room and sat down with a piece of
paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter
to God.

Letter 5
*******
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT
TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

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EVOLUTION OF MAN

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ANOTHER MIRACLE HAPPENED


not a joke but a true story...Winston Churchill...was at a diner party and woman came up to him and said...

Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

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